Old Age Is Hell

The body gets stiff

You get cramps in your legs

Corns on your feet

As big as hen eggs

 

Gas on your stomach

Elimination is poor

Take Ex Lax at night

And then your not sure

 

You soak in the tub

Or your body will smell

It’s like I said folks

Old age is Hell

 

Your teeth start decaying

Your eyesight is poor

Hair falling out

All over the floor

 

Sex life is short

It’s a thing of the past

Don’t kid yourself friend

Even that doesn’t last

 

Can’t go to parties

Don’t dance anymore

Just to put things mildly

You’re a helluva bore

 

Liquor is out

Can’t take a chance

Your bladder is weak

Might pee in your pants

 

Nothing to plan for

Nothing to expect

Just the mailman comes

With your Security check

 

Now be sure your affairs are in order

And your will is made out right

Or on the way to the graveyard

There will be a helluva fight

 

You look pretty good

You look fairly well

Thank God your alive

Old age is HELL !